The entire story

Well, now that we are coming out of the infertility/pregnancy closet, I think it's about time to write our entire story. We got married in June 2006 and I hadn't really thought about when I would want to have kids. I figured I would know when the right time came.
Fast forward a couple years later, and I was "ready" to start trying. I didn't really know what to expect. I didn't expect to get pregnant the first month or anything and we were pretty relaxed about it. After about a year, I started to worry a little bit but thought that since I was so young (23 at the time) that I should give it a little more time. Then, I was in my last semesters of school and we were starting a business, so we decided to wait it out for a little longer. After trying to conceive for 2 years, we went to the doctor. We didn't have any insurance and the cheapest/easiest way to start the entire process was to get D tested. His test results came out normal. This was great news, but to me, that meant that something was wrong with me. I made excuses about going to the doctor (let's wait until the summer is over, it is expensive, we don't have any insurance, etc.) because I was scared. I was scared that I would go and they would tell me something was wrong and I could never have a kid.
After talking to our wonderful Bishop, he convinced me that it would be better to know than to have the worst-case-scenario running through my head all day. So, we made an appointment with my Ob/Gyn. We went and did some simple tests, and they all came back normal. We had decided to do an un-medicated IUI. This was in September 2010. That IUI failed. The next month, we decided to do another IUI with clomid. That failed. IUIs were really stressful and emotional. It was really the first infertility treatment that we did so that was nerve-wracking. We decided to take a little time off so we could actually enjoy our holidays.
During that time, my dad got a letter from his work stating that thanks to Obama, my dad's kids could be on his healthcare plan starting January 1st until we turned 26. What great news!!! The bad news was that I turned 26 July 25th which gave us less than 8 months. Well, we another visit with the Ob/Gyn and we decided to move a little more quickly and go to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Since we only had a limited amount of time with insurance, we wanted to make the best of it. She referred us to an awesome doctor in Frisco. It took about a month to have a meeting with him which put us at the end of January giving us only 7 months.
We did a bunch of tests for about a month and everything came back normal. We did another IUI with Gonal-F injectables. Fail. We tried it one more time. Fail.
Then, was the next major choice. We decided to move forward with IVF (read about it here). IVF was a long, hard process but 100% worth it. We are now on our way to becoming first time parents thanks to modern day science and countless prayers.

This has been the hardest trial of my life and it cannot really be put into words here on a blog. Although it has been really hard, I have learned a lot and grown a lot. I feel like this entire thing has really made me stronger. I have grown closer to my Heavenly Father. I have learned how to really use the Atonement in my life. My relationship with my husband has been strengthened. I think I have become more empathetic. I realize now that so many people are out there silently struggling with their own problems. I have also come to realize that we are so blessed. Now that we are finally expecting a little one of our own, I am so excited to love them. We are so blessed to be trusted with one of the Lord's special spirits here on this earth.

11 weeks 6 days

I haven't written in a long time, mostly because I haven't had anything new to report. I've still been sick, nausea, vomiting, eating like crazy, etc.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about everything: pregnancy, becoming a mom, that little person growing inside of me.
I have been noticing my body changing lately. I went to the doctor today and have gained 3 pounds! I know that is not a ton, but I now officially am the heaviest I've ever been. My pants still fit fine, but I have noticed a little "pooch" when I wear certain shirts. In fact, last night was the first night D noticed my belly. It was after I had eaten, so it was sticking out but still. Then, I just keep forgetting everything! Pregnant people always blame things on "pregnancy brain" and now I completely understand! I totally forget stuff all the time. I have so many things on my mind and everything else just falls by the wayside.
I've also thought about this little person inside of me. Sometimes it doesn't feel real yet, but I can't help but think about what he/she will look like, or what hobbies they will have, or what characteristics of ours they will get.
We heard the heartbeat for the first time yesterday. It was kind of weird to realize that there are 2 hearts inside of me! It was really cool to hear, though. It was going at a steady 161 beats per minute. It is nice to know that everything I have been feeling/going through is actually for something real!
Then, I started thinking that this is real! I am going to be a mom! I really hope that I'm a good mom. It is really intimidating to think that somebody's life will quite literally be in my hands.
Well, I'm coming out of the pregnancy/infertility closet tomorrow. I'm really excited to share our good news with everybody but I feel like it makes this whole thing real. We tried for more than three years to share this news. I have always thought about how I would tell my friends/family that we are expecting, and now we are doing it! It is a weird shift in the mentality of dealing with infertility and trying to conceive to being pregnant. I have waited for this all my life and while it is exciting, it is a little scary for me. I guess we'll see how it goes.

No more progesterone!

Tuesday was my last progesterone shot!!! YAY! I'm so glad I'm done with all the shots! I'm hoping that I will start to feel a little bit better now that I won't be pumping more hormones into my body. I just want to get this first trimester done with so I can start to tell people, get a little belly, and hopefully feel better.

8 weeks

Well "morning" sickness is more like all day sickness. I sleep in, and lay either on the couch or in bed for most of the day. I don't want to complain, but I'm miserable! I can't even clean my house or make dinner. Meat just grosses me out and any little smell makes me gag. I am usually a very productive person, but lately I just can't find the energy to do anything. I think it's really getting to me because I get really sad sometimes like I'm this failure. There are tons of other pregnant women out there who are working or raising other kids and I'm laid up here in bed. It's awful. Luckily, it is cooling down here (90's instead of 100 degree temperatures) so we are making a point to go to a local park an walk our little pooch.
There's not much to report besides that. I just keep telling myself that the sickness means the baby is growing. Hopefully this will pass soon.