I haven't written in a long time, mostly because I haven't had anything new to report. I've still been sick, nausea, vomiting, eating like crazy, etc.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about everything: pregnancy, becoming a mom, that little person growing inside of me.
I have been noticing my body changing lately. I went to the doctor today and have gained 3 pounds! I know that is not a ton, but I now officially am the heaviest I've ever been. My pants still fit fine, but I have noticed a little "pooch" when I wear certain shirts. In fact, last night was the first night D noticed my belly. It was after I had eaten, so it was sticking out but still. Then, I just keep forgetting everything! Pregnant people always blame things on "pregnancy brain" and now I completely understand! I totally forget stuff all the time. I have so many things on my mind and everything else just falls by the wayside.
I've also thought about this little person inside of me. Sometimes it doesn't feel real yet, but I can't help but think about what he/she will look like, or what hobbies they will have, or what characteristics of ours they will get.
We heard the heartbeat for the first time yesterday. It was kind of weird to realize that there are 2 hearts inside of me! It was really cool to hear, though. It was going at a steady 161 beats per minute. It is nice to know that everything I have been feeling/going through is actually for something real!
Then, I started thinking that this is real! I am going to be a mom! I really hope that I'm a good mom. It is really intimidating to think that somebody's life will quite literally be in my hands.
Well, I'm coming out of the pregnancy/infertility closet tomorrow. I'm really excited to share our good news with everybody but I feel like it makes this whole thing real. We tried for more than three years to share this news. I have always thought about how I would tell my friends/family that we are expecting, and now we are doing it! It is a weird shift in the mentality of dealing with infertility and trying to conceive to being pregnant. I have waited for this all my life and while it is exciting, it is a little scary for me. I guess we'll see how it goes.
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