Pregnant and infertile

I have been thinking lately about this blog. Now that I am expecting, do I continue blogging about infertility? I don't want this blog to turn into a baby diary since I have a personal blog for that. I haven't been able to make a decision until a couple of days ago. I get the Ensign which is a monthly publication that is produced my my church. This month is basically a compilation of inspiring Christmas stories. D and I had decided to read a little scripture and story every night leading up to Christmas just to refocus us on why we celebrate this time of year. The first night, I picked a random story titled the Christmas I Remember Best. I really picked it because it is only one page. As I started reading, my heart began to pump a little harder because I was afraid it was going to talk about a woman who wanted children but couldn't have them. Well, it did. I couldn't even make it through the second paragraph because I started crying! I gave the magazine to mu husband and told him he had to read it because I wouldn't be able to get through it. He read most of the story until the last few paragraphs and the same thing happened to him. It was at that moment that I realized that he has been just as affected by this as I have. I realized that even though we are seeing our dream come true, we will always be affected by our struggle with infertility.
We finished the story but that was when I got my answer of how to proceed with this blog. I probably won't be writing in it as much as I had before, but I know that I will still struggle in the future. Blogging has really helped me deal with my thoughts and emotions and sort through them. I am sure there will be times when I am still hit with a hard day and those are the days that I need this blog. I have said over and over that this blog is for me, not anybody else. I will continue to post as my journey continues.
I have also decided that I definitely want more kids. I don't know if we will have to go through such extreme measures to have more children, but we are willing to make the sacrifice. That may mean that we stay in our tiny starter home for a bit longer so we can afford IVF again, and I have come to terms with that. I don't know what the future holds for me and my family, but I do know that infertility has shaped a large part of who I am and I will never forget where this journey has taken me.