First round with the RE

So I went to go see the RE for the first time at the end of January. Since then, we have done 3 ultrasounds, I can't count how many blood tests, one HSG, one round of clomid, 3 gonal-f shots, and that brings us up to today. The gonal-f pen was totally not a big deal, I though injectables would be a little more intimidating but they didn't even hurt. The only real side-effects I noticed from the clomid is a couple of really bad headaches. I feel blessed that I didn't get too sick or anything. So today was CD12 (cycle day 12) and I went in for another sono so they could count my follicles. I have 3 major follicles which is perfect. They wouldn't do the IUI if I had more than 4 and they said 3-4 is optimal. I brought in my Ovidrel and they gave it to me right there in the office. I go in tomorrow at 1:30 for the IUI. Then starts the longest two weeks. In the fertility blogging world, this is referred as the 2ww (2 week wait). One week from tomorrow, I go in so they can check my progesterone levels. If they are too low, they will put me on meds for that. One week after that, I got in for the big pregnancy test. I'm excited/nervous/scared all at the same time. Peter is going out of town the day before I go in for the pregnancy test so I'll find out without him! I don't want to tell him good news on the phone and I'm afraid of having a breakdown without him here if there is bad news. I guess I can't really dwell on that but I can't really help but constantly think about what will happen in 15 days.
To add to the stress, Steph's baby shower is in a week and a half. I've been struggling with whether or not I should attend. She is my best friend and I'm happy that this is such a great time for her, but this is also the hardest time in my life. She is coming to town just for a few days so it is not like I get to see her very often. I won't know if I'm going until that day. If it is a hard day, I will just stay home and send a gift. I HATE baby showers. I don't like the stupid games, the finger food, or the lame decorations. The hardest part is that everybody has to talk about their baby/pregnancy/delivery stories. I sit there quietly wishing I had something to share. And it hurts. I'm also afraid that I am going to go and everybody will be asking me "Are you next?" "When is your turn?" etc. Especially because we've been trying to have a baby since before Steph even met her husband. I read somewhere recently that spending two hours at your best friend's baby shower is not worth two weeks of crying over ice cream. I have to take care of myself first. In that book that I got from the library, it stresses the importance of taking care of yourself first. If I do get pregnant, I need to be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy for that baby. I guess we'll see what I'm up to that night.