IVF Update

I have tons to catch up on so I'll be doing a string of posts. The Lupron is going ok. I forgot the first day but I took it that night then again the next morning. That day, I got some hot flashes and got really dizzy but I've been fine since then. For some reason the shots hurt more than the gonal-f. I don't know if it's because there's maybe more medicine I'm putting in or if the needle is bigger, but I ahve to pause halfway through because it hurts. Then, it's read around the area and uncomfortable for about an hour then I'm fine. My last day of birth control was Saturday and I just started my period today (Wednesday). It was kind of nice, though since Monday was the 4th of July and I spent the majority of the day outside so I'm glad I didn't have to deal with day one then. Yesterday, we went to a water park so that was nice as well. I called the doctor's office this morning. I love the office staff. The nurses are so nice and knowledgeable. I start gonal-f on Sunday and take that for 3 days (300, 300, 225 ml). Then I have an appointment Wednesday for a sono and blood work. Then I'll go in every couple days to see when I'll be ready for the trigger shot. It is weird that we are actually in this for real. It is crazy to me that my life has led me here but I'm excited and really nervous at the same time.
So how am I dealing with it? Well, I was watching Marley & Me the other day while cooking dinner. I have this awesome thing where I don't remember movies after seeing them for some reason. It's great because I can watch them over and over and not really remember what happens next! I know (Spoiler Alert!) that the dog dies at the end but that's it. Well, there is this scene where she tells her husband that she's pregnant. Little tears well up in my eyes but I hold them back. Then, they go to the doctor for their first sono and they find out she lost the baby. BIG tears now. Right then, D walks in the door and sees my and asks what's wrong. I started bawling. What if that happens to me? I had not really thought of the possibility before. I've thought what it might be like if the IVF doesn't work, but what if it does only for me to miscarry? What if we go through all of this, get all excited at a BFP and then it is all ripped from my hands? I don't think I could handle that.
IVF is constantly on my mind. I used to really like the song Stronger by Sara Evans. One day, I was thinking about this whole TTC journey and the song came on. I think I have become stronger but not I can't listen to the song. I know it's about a breakup but I always think of my IF struggle. I just keep telling myself it will all be over-for better or worse-in about a month.